Dears, oh Dears. This anime is an incestuous marriage of fan service and stupidity. It’s also a true testament to being boring. So with a concoction like that, everybody just knows that this show is going to make a great review. but as someone who was on the frontlines watching this shit, let me tell you something. This was extremely painful for me.

By the way this review is brought to you by Paid internet legends. Paid internet legends is a dark satirical RPG where you play as a guy who has to shamble on through life, while writing anime reviews on the internet.

Oh wait, that's just my life.
Oh well, let’s get back to dears.

So Dears, is an anime that came out back in 2004 by a studio called Musashino Productions. I only know this because a friend of mine also did a review on this anime m. He was comparatively more kind to the show then I’m about to be, because I and many other people who like anime, consider Dear's the worst anime ever made. So strap in ladies and gentlemen.

So what makes dears so bad? Well let’s start with the plot, which my brain is probably going to melt a bit while i’m describing it to you.

So the story takes place one year after an alien race crash-lands on Earth. After finding out that this alien species doesn’t have a name, the human race gets together and decides to name their species Dears. Which side note was Dears really the best name humanity could come up with. Look, whether you love humans or are misanthropic, you've got to admit we’re usually pretty good at coming up with names for things. Hell, it doesn’t even matter if they are real and fictional. So calling them dears is stupid. But fine, we’ll go with it.

Our main character is a high school boy named Takeya Ikuhara, who is extremely bland. Honestly the most memorable thing about this guy is that he sells porn to his classmates like Micheal from rooster teeth. One day while Takeya is walking home from school when he finds one of the dears who he takes in. By the way she dresses like she’s from a 70s sci fi porno, which I guess it could be fitting. After he takes her in he gives her the name Ren, the rest of the plot is mostly just filler. Yes there are some other plot details that come much later. But they're pretty small and I’m not going to bother recounting it. Just go read a synopsis if you honestly give shit, and while you’re reading that synopsis asks yourself why you care.

Now I know some may say that it's a comedy anime, so it’s unfair to say it’s filler when it’s making you laugh, because some comedies are like that. My response to that is you might have had a point if it was funny, but this isn’t funny on any level. This isn’t even a situation where it’s a different type of humour, because I could understand that and just say it’s not my cup of tea. But this anime is not funny on any level and in all different cultures. We stand united as species to say that this shit is not humorous.

Now to further my point about why this show is so unfunny, I’m going to tell you about Takeya’s teacher. You may ask why I’m singling out a minor character. Well that’s because every scene with this character is weaponized cringe. Literally the first scene she’s in is her with her tits out and in her underwear, while she’s laughing in the middle of class. Ok, this is supposed to be funny how? I will literally pay anyone $100 (Note I won’t) If they explain to me why that’s supposed to be funny.

Basically, she has the personality of the most annoying skank. Just imagine that for every scene she’s in, and you’ve got a pretty good idea of what she’s like.

Now this show is full of ecchi content, which normally I would be cool with. But unless this is a prono, tits and ass alone isn’t going to save you. Obviously I’m watching a TV show for the writing, So if I’m just watching super over-the-top ecchi scenes that are not funny, are just filler, are boring, and kind of make you feel uncomfortable, then why should I be watching your show.

So hopefully you now understand why Dears makes me want to punch something. The problem with this show is it’s not funny to an uncomfortable degree, and it mostly leads to nothing. So what you're left with is both cringe and boredom increased to the max. Seriously I’ve never seen a show max out both. You’d think they’d both cancel each other out to just being one of the two, but no this show manages to go above and beyond in being completely heinous.

Honestly I could just end it here, but I watched the whole show. So I’m going to keep going so I can let it all out of my system. You might think it wouldn’t be so bad because it’s only 13 episodes, but I promise you’ll feel every minute of it.

So what else about this show is horrible Hmm. Well I hate how it uses slavery as a part of being a romantic comedy, yes I’m absolutely serious, this is not a joke. Not only that but it’s played like a serious romantic development. Look guys unless this is game of thrones or something you can’t do that, especially in a rom com kind of way. Where were the writers' brains when they decided this was totally normal? By the way I haven’t read the manga because I’m not subjecting myself to that torture again. That would be masochistic.

Oh and if anyone is defending the slavery elements of this show in the comments, because the dears are supposed to be created to be the perfect slaves. Then I just want you to look in the mirror, and come to grips with the fact that what you're defending to me is in fact slavery.

And yes I guess I just said a spoiler, but with this show does it really matter.

So as you can probably tell, the romance in this is really bad just by its very nature. But the funny thing is, this anime almost did something good. You see, by having the main character give the love interest her name, it could’ve allowed their bond to grow. But in a good show like Shakugan no Shana, it’s a really touching moment. In dears, it’s basically just I can’t pronounce your real name so I’m going to call you Ren. How romantic.

This actually leads to another problem I have with dears, that being that the romance doesn’t go anywhere. Like, seriously, romantic is in the word romantic comedy. So yeah, if you’re looking for romance to eventually bloom between these two, then I’m pretty sure you’re expecting way too much form this show. This also leads to more boredom, by the way.

Here is Another problem with Dears that is pretty bad. You see, one of the appeals of the Sci-fi genre is not just the technology and incredible phenomena, but also being able to explain how they work. Sure, you could probably say stuff like the spaceship design in something like Star Trek isn’t entirely realistic, but it’s set up in a way where you feel like it could happen.

Now why does this matter? Well, because the dears have the ability to magically defy the laws of physics by sprouting clothes from out of nowhere. Also, they can learn how to speak an entirely new language just by reading a few books. Sure, there’s a big flashing light that emanates from them when they're doing this, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is so god damn stupid.

Now I know a lot of people are going to say that there have been stories where sci-fi has been mixed with fantasy-like elements, such as Star Wars, Dune, and Code Geass. But the difference between those stories and something like dears, is that they either intentionally gave the mystical elements vague origins, or made sure that they would fit into the world they set up. Also they usually made sure to give a sort of gravitas to those mythical elements.

My point is when dears has these moments that are debatably what I’m talking about. It doesn’t come across as something mythical, it just comes across like really shitty and contrived writing.

The lack of brain power of this series is sickening if you take it seriously, and it’s just plain silly if you don’t.

Now some may say that the last two episodes of the show are comparatively more focused and have less filler, which to be fair is true. But who cares it’s near the end and it’s hell to get to it, so it’s not like those final two episodes are saving anything.

By the way, do you realize that this anime aired the same year as the original Full Metal Alchemist. Yeah fun little trivia for you.

One of the other problems with this anime is that most of the side characters have little to no personality, and since the main leads are mostly bland as well, it begs one big question, who am I supposed to get attached to. The answer is no one.

So let me be fair here, is there anything I actually liked about dears? Well the music is ok I guess, and again I suppose I can admit that the last two episodes are at least more focus and slightly better then the rest of the series.

Also I liked it when it was over.
That was a good moment.

So my final verdict on dears is it sucks, end of story. I mean seriously this show is 99.9 percent awful, with a tiny spec of ok. So don’t watch it. This review might have come across a bit jumbled. But trust me when you’re reviewing a show this bad, it’s kind of hard to know where to start.

I guess if you were looking for a show kind of like this, I might recommend chobits. It’s not really my thing Éthier, but I can acknowledge that it’s much better written.

All I can say is thank god I never have to watch this show ever again.

It's a 1 out of 10

Anyway, that’s my review, I’m going to go eat my processed chips now.

Hello, this is my first review, so if you have a problem with it, then don’t be too harsh on me. With all that said here is the review.

So let me get this out of the way from the start. Monster is one of the greatest anime ever made. Yeah, I know it's a cold take to anyone who’s watched the show, but it's like that for a reason. Some would even say that it's as good if not better than Death Note, which is saying a lot given Death Note’s quality. So, while I might be a little late to sing its praises, I still hope that this review turns out well. At the very least, this review will be a place where we can sit back and enjoy the show together.

Now, before I keep going, I should just let you know that Monster is very spoiler-heavy, even in the beginning, so I’m going to try my best to not spoil anything. It’s also quite a long anime, being 72 episodes, but the pacing is so good that you'll barely feel that length.

The story of Monster is about a Japanese doctor living in Germany named Kenzo Tenma, who is one of the best neurosurgeons in the country. One day, a pair of twins named Johan and Anna Libert are brought into the hospital after their parents were murdered, and Johan was shot in the head. Tenma manages to save Johan’s life, but a few days later the twins mysteriously vanish from the hospital. Many years go by and Tenma still works a wonderful career in neurosurgery.

Until one day, when he finds out that Johan grew up to become a vicious serial killer, who’s killed countless people, and even has a criminal network working under him. After realizing that saving Johan’s life led to so much death and misery, Tenma decided to track Johan down, and end the life of the monster he never should have saved.

Where do I begin with this show? Well first off let me just say the premise alone is brilliant. But another thing that makes this show so well put together is just how it handles subverting your expectations. Now look, I understand that subverting expectations has been done extremely poorly in the past. However people forget that it can also be done very well, and this show is a master at it.

For example, at the beginning of the show, Doctor Tenma’s boss is what many people would consider to be a horrible person. He’s way more concerned with making money rather than saving lives. At one point he orders Tenma to operate on the mayor instead, because it will do better for the hospital's reputation, which would essentially leave Johan to die. Tenma refuses because he believes as a doctor that all human lives should be treated equally, thus he chooses the life of a child over that of an adult.

Thus, when Tenma finds out what a monster Johan grew up to become, his entire reality is shattered. He realizes that his actions to save a life has led to the deaths of so many others, which of course fuels his motivation as a character.

Now the characters are all memorable, but there’s a lot of them. There's a big cast of characters here, so while I won’t be able to go over all of them, I can, however, go over a few.

As mentioned before there’s Doctor Tenma. One aspect of his character that not many may mention is his incredible kindness. He’ll go out of his way to help people, regardless if they’re a criminal or not. The one exception of course is Johan. This makes him a great contrast to our Villian.

Speaking of which, let's talk about Johan. Many have called him one of if not the greatest anime villain of all time, and I’m in that camp. He’s pretty much the human personification of nihilism. He only sees the worst of humanity, and believes that it would be better if nothing were to exist at all.

One thing that a lot of people forget, that I think is interesting, is that Johan doesn’t kill many people directly. He’s more about convincing people to kill themselves or each other. He will use whatever mental, social, or societal weakness you have and use it to destroy you. This not only makes him more terrifying, but also makes sense on how he’s able to get away with these crimes. Another thing about Johan is that you don’t see him that often in the anime. Most of the series is about the characters trying to find him. But no matter where you are, his presence can be felt at all times throughout the show. However, when Johan does show up, it becomes all the more terrifying. It’s a good example of less is more.

Then there’s Anna Libert, who again is Johan’s twin sister. She lost her memories as a child, but after tragedy strikes because of Johan, Anna decides she needs to track him down as well. In many ways she’s the character that best represents will power in the face of trauma, but her internal conflict of fear and despair vs her optimism for the future, leads to a great character arc that’s so well executed, but of course I really don’t want to spoil anything.

Another great character is Grimmer, who shows up later in the show. Remember when I said Tenma is a great contrast to Johan? Well Grimmer is also a contrast to him, but in a very different way, which of course I won’t dare ruin. If you’ve seen the show then you know what I’m talking about.

Let’s just say there’s a scene that begins traumatizing but also beautifully comforting by the end, and speaks well to who Grimmer is. Again I’m sorry I can’t give anything away, But if you ever watch this anime, you’ll be thankful I didn’t spoil it for you.

Also there’s Lunge, who’s very memorable in his own right. Lunge is a detective who’s convinced that Tenma is committing many of Johan’s crimes, and is completely obsessed with catching him. One thing I’d like to point out about Lunge is the typing motion he does. You see whenever he’s giving new information about a case, he begins moving his fingers in a rhythmic pattern that he describes as typing, which helps him commit to memory. But that motion he makes also looks like he’s getting ready to strangle you. It’s a detail they could have just left out, but it makes a lot of his scenes have a certain level of tension to them.

One more character I’d like to mention is Eva who was Tenma’s ex fiancée. She’s a total emotional wreck who both loves and hates Tenma. She’s an emotionally complicated character who’s hard to pin down sometimes. She’ll lie and do horrible things for revenge, but at the same time you understand the tragedy that put her in the situation she’s in. In other words, half the time you want to smack her, but the other half you feel really sorry for her.

Now there’s so many other characters I could go into, but we’d be here all day if I did that. So to sum it all up, just see the show yourself.

Something I’d also like to mention about Monster is how the show is structured. You see, whenever one arc of the show ends and another begins, they decide an entire episode on a new set of characters. We get to learn about who they are and what’s going on in their lives. Then the episode after will show us how their situation relates to Johan. It's a really unique way of telling a story and it works because the characters are so well-developed. Honestly I wish more shows did this.

The voice acting is great all around the board. Whether you’re watch with subs or dubs, both do a fantastic job conveying the intended emotion. However for times sake I’ll just point out two examples, for your convenience.

We’ll start with Tenma. Both voice actors do a great job portraying the warmth and love of life that this character has. But given the situation he’s in, there are times that he has to show a stronger and more threatening side of himself... But one interesting detail that I’ve always noticed is when he’s putting on a harsher voice, there’s a sense that he doesn’t want to do this. Don’t know if anyone got that, but I did.

Johan’s voice is also stellar. There’s a spidery quality to his voice that puts shivers up my spine every time he speaks, particularly during the first time you meet him as an adult. However his voice can also be soothing if he wants it to be. In other words his voice is both creepy, but also one that can easily manipulate you.

The music in Monster is phenomenal. Now it isn’t action music, but portrays the emotion of every scene, just through the music alone. For example there’s a song called seeds of time, which if you’re ever trying to make music for a scene, where a character learns something horrible, then this is the song you should take inspiration from.

But the rest of the songs convey either the moments of sunshine or darkness perfectly. All I can say is if there’s somehow any future composer who’s reading this, and they are looking to make music for TV and movies, then take notes.

The only problem I have with Monster, which is a nitpick admittedly, is that there's a kid character named Dieter, who actually is another awesome character. My issue with him isn’t his character, it’s that at some point in the story he doesn’t really do anything. In fact you really could have cut him out of that part of the story and you wouldn’t miss anything. But he doesn’t get in the way of anything, and he’s still a fun character so I don’t mind.

All in all, Monster is a must see anime. The writing is great, the hero is great, the villain is great, everything else is great. All I can say is give Monster a chance, because you’ll come back to me saying that I was right, and really isn’t that all that matters?

It’s a 9.5 out of 10

Alright, that's my review. Now please leave, I’m trying to eat my processed chips.